Well, a couple months later, again I was on his computer, found reoccurring pictures of the same girl.I can never lie to him or hide anything, he always knows when something is up, he wouldn’t leave me alone so I told him I found these pictures of this girl that he must really like, and I saw multiple ones of her-again.In these types of situations, it is common for people to offer quick solutions, but easy solutions typically don’t work long term (see once a cheater).
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I’ve spent more and more time here for the past 6 months, since we’ve got engaged, so I’ve used his computer a lot more as well.
I was messing around one day and found a ton of pornography on it.
Typically, what happens when you try to control a partner’s behavior, especially a behavior that is very rewarding to him, a partner will learn to better hide or conceal his activities (see when people lie).
And it may help to be realistic about how much both you and your boyfriend can change with respect to this issue.
The high reward and low cost nature of online cheating makes it difficult to stop.
But from your perspective, it is REAL; it feels like cheating and it hurts just the same (see online cheating). First, attempts to control a partner’s behavior, often fail.And the interactive nature of online chatting/sex adds a level of uncertainty and unpredictability that can be exhilarating for people who crave such stimulation (see why people cheat).Moreover, most people dismiss their online activities as NOT being real—it is like a sexual fantasy, it doesn’t have much consequence—because one can walk away from it or turn it off—unlike a traditional affair where there has been physical contact and a person who actually exists in one’s social network.I just don’t know how to handle this whole thing, I love him dearly and it hurts very badly...He’s got so many good qualities and in my heart I feel as though he truly loves me, would never hurt me, but-I know I’ve babbled, I just wanted to make sure everything was clear. On one hand, your boyfriend has been turning to other women for sexual gratification—leaving you feeling hurt, betrayed and rejected.He had a roommate and I just figured he used it to take pics of himself for the computer.