The partner is likely to feel betrayal upon discovering the addictive behaviors of his or her partner.
Some may benefit from joining a support group of other spouses that are going through the same thing.
Dependable friends and family can also provide support, especially on those very tough days.
This will help establish a place of safety for the person who feels hurt.
Boundaries may include removing Internet access, changing what comes through the TV, establishing a bank account to insure bills are covered, and removing any offensive material from the home.
If consequences are tied to the boundaries, it’s important that they are followed through with or they will not be taken seriously.
This can be vital in creating some order to what feels like chaos.There's a circular bed under one of the bay windows. They leave their curtains open."We can, um, go grab a bottle of wine or something? It's a concession they're willing to make, but I can tell they both feel a little uneasy, the way their eyes keep meeting, trying not to meet."No, it's ok. One set of the windows look out onto Geary, at the traffic that whizzes by, the Muni buses and commuters.Now, since I've moved in with Adam, we're all neighbors. It's the most overtly sexual life choice I've ever made, and it's fun."Your energy is different," Adam tells me.I've only seen Ben once, fleetingly, in the market. And while Ben is congenial, and perfectly pleasant, I start to get the feeling that he's a little bored. After each date, I feel the urge to call someone, to tell them what I just did, to brag. From anyone else, this would elicit an eye-roll from me, but it rings with the tenor of truth from him. I'm emboldened by my ability to get what I want, and it translates to how Adam and I sleep together, too.The combination of empathy, compassion, and some tough love are necessary to guide a person down a path of healing and then to hope. The preceding article was solely written by the author named above.