There are topics they're uncomfortable with, and they're always a little on edge when they're socializing because they never know when they'll come up.
They may dread situations where their feared subjects are more likely to arise, like when their friends are all sitting around and drinking.
If you tell someone about your vulnerabilities, and display a calm, self-assured attitude about them, they'll often go along with those cues and feel they're fine as well.
You can get introspective and dig into why you're guarded, or try to take on a healthier perspective towards self-disclosure.
That may help somewhat, but in the end the best thing to do is open up to people more and see that it's not so bad.
If your secretive nature originated in a rough upbringing it may be more deeply set and resilient than if you just got into a habit of being guarded due to shyness. As I always tell people, I don't think seeing a counselor is a pathetic last resort for the weak and hopeless.
There's nothing weird about it and we could all benefit from some outside support from time to time.
You need to experience firsthand that sharing pieces of yourself isn't that dangerous and often has a positive result, and that on the odd occasion that one of your secrets is received badly, that it's something you can handle.
I can tell you that a lot of the time when you tell people about your supposedly embarrassing problems, especially if you talk about them in a casual, confident way, they won't think they're that horrible.You could see that as a humiliating family secret and do anything to keep people from finding out about it. You could see it as something you went through, but not a personal reflection on your worth as a person.You could think that alcoholism is sadly fairly common, and it doesn't make a person flawed just to be exposed to it. You could take that as a sign that you're a loser and dread being outed.More pragmatically, if people know you're struggling they may be able to help.In this case, they may be able to give you advice and encouragement, or set you up with a friend who seems like your type.Of course, there is a practical side to keeping some personal information under wraps.