Dating someone who is newly separated

When that happens, they may not be as susceptible to any new relationship.Secrecy If the separated man is concerned that a new relationship might inflame the other partner’s decision, he may choose to keep that new relationship quiet.

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This is one of the most common dilemmas my patients have brought to me over the past four decades.

Though there are multiple variations on the theme, there is one way in which they all are similar: two women are in a competitive triangle with the same man.

A newly separated partner is often searching for validation and support and cannot see beyond those needs.

If, on the other hand, a couple has been separated for quite a while, have made multiple attempts to reconnect and failed, the partners may have come to the conclusion that divorce is inevitable.

Over time, and especially if they’ve been in disappointing other relationships, they miss each other again and valiantly try to “make it work.” If they don’t see those patterns and correct them, that process will occur until they either wear each other out or find someone they’d rather invest in.

Committed partners who still care deeply for one another, on the other hand, often separate because of external stress, worn-out interactions, infidelities, or a slow drift-apart that neither realized could have ended up in a separation.

Triangles are stable when all three legs are connected.

What that means in a three-way relationship is that each day is securely connected.

The man in those unfinished relationships may be temporarily available to a new partner, but is highly likely to go back to his other relationship.

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