With women you have to fix/rescue, you'll have more than enough distraction from you and your own self worth, issues, shortcomings or whatever you really don't want to deal with about yourself.
It could be a mixture of all of the things you mentioned..maybe mainly because "like is attracted to like"..to your childhood and what you are used to.
I find that I am sometimes the same way...maybe for the same reasons.i know this allure of which you speak.
i've begun to come to terms with the fact that it's not them who are "emotionally unavailable" or "commitment phobes".....it's *me*.
deep down, i have a fear of emotional intimacy; of really letting someone into my life and heart.
i asked a Mentor of mine (who has seen this all along and just *waited* for me to get it): "now that i know this..do i change?
" she challenged me to "stand still": when i meet a nice guy who piques my interest, when that familiar feeling to run stirs...rather than turning heel, i need to learn to just stop.
we tend to make life and relationships more complicated than they have to be.
i also think that what others have told me is true: there's nothing "wrong" with me; i'm just going deeper in understanding what makes me tick--what the root of all the "drama" is about.
She said: " Took me awhile to sort out my flaw that needed their flaw to feel good...
but was well worth it." Some people fear the contentment of a relationship with no issues, because it forces them to focus on themselves more than they'd like to.
the last year has been a journey of dicovery for me.
beginning to see and understand what motivate me, why i select (and settle for) the men that are, inevitably, all cut from the same grain.
( to put it mildly) A light bulb lights up in my head and I swear, It's like she turns into a magnet, which I become unable to resist. I don’t see any problem here other than you will get heartache over and over. I think you want to view yourself as the hero who makes everything right. You can only accept what it was, accept that they did their best and now it's up to you to do better and make healthier choices, because it is a choice. diminishing all that tough and masculine image.^^^ I agree 100%^^^It is normal, and its a good thing that you are now becoming aware of it. I had to change my whole outlook from solely looking at "what can I do for her" to "what do we bring to each other." While I initially felt this approach to be a step toward self-centeredness, I have come to realize that there is a necessary dose of self-centeredness that we all need. Otherwise, we (read-or I did) bottle up our needs, goals, and desires for the sake of the other, and eventually enter an emotional 'shut-down' mode.