Yet even among my closest friends, I would experience "well-meaning" advice, words and comments that really stung.
Things that I myself might have said prior to my divorce, having no idea how powerful those seemingly innocent words could be:1.
"It's too bad you have children—you'll always be connected because of them."This was very painful to hear.
I only wanted to feel "typical"—not some freak or outsider because of my new status.8.
"You're so brave."Another seemingly innocuous comment—well-meaning, and yet I can't think of a single time I heard this that it didn't ultimately feel like pity.9.
In the year 2000 I was happily married (for 13 years, together for 20) to my college sweetheart, with a lovely home and two young children.
Then one day I began the process of discovering my husband's long-standing affair—with someone I knew very well. And though I met and married a wonderful man— and have been married for over 10 years—the hurt and pain of that time is still there. I was (and still am) very lucky to have an incredible network of friends and family—without whom I would have never come out the other side as successfully as I did.
Remember, she is hurting from the loss of a marriage and since she can’t just “revenge” without consequences, she needs to boost her ego and this is where you come in.
You are the tool that shows she’s moved on and she doesn’t just take you as you are.
I learned that you don't REALLY know how much you're willing to tolerate—until you're there yourself.
Some time ago, I wrote an article titled “7 reasons why you shouldn’t date a divorced man,” and I must say I was overwhelmed with the amount of responses this article received.
Since their marriage failed, they don’t want a repeat performance, so they tend to assume the dominant role.
So, they pick up a trick or two in their failed marriage and they use this to their advantage.
They may have the courage to say “oh I’m so over him,” but in reality, the fact that they have “divorce” stamped on their life resume is very battering to every divorced woman.