Here was this young guy, only 21, preaching chastity, virtue and not kissing until you got married.
It was a supremely conservative message packaged with youthful fervor and a fedora.
Premarital sex and pregnancy were major social disgraces and a lot of guidance from parents and older family friends (we call them all aunts and uncles) was built around avoiding those disgraces.
And that’s so much bigger than sex; there’s a critical portion of a healthy life that I have to strain to reach that was damaged in the name of God.
I actually didn’t read the book until a couple years ago.
I remember seeing the cover, and thinking how cool it looked, tipped fedora and all.
The sepia tone seemed romantic, and maybe, when you’re an awkward, depressed teen, that’s all you need to convince you of purity culture: it seems romantic.
But beside my non-existent teen love life, the book had a larger impact that as an adult, I’m only now coming to grips with—damaging expectations of myself, men, and sexuality—beliefs that have cost me love, friendship, and given me a life of shame.
(IKDG) about four years later near the end of middle school., Elizabeth Esther tweeted that she never went to prom because of her Fundamentalist upbringing.In response, one of her followers tweeted that she didn’t have a prom because of Joshua Harris, the author of the influential book was published in 1997 and quickly became a hit among the Evangelical crowd.As a teen and young adult I knew some of the basic concepts of the book: you shouldn’t get involved with too many people because that means you’re cheating on your future spouse.I first read IKDG when I was 15 and it didn’t feel right, but I didn’t have the words to put to that feeling.The approach Harris offered was a way forward that bypassed the physical possibilities.