Don’t be surprised when a chick whose entire profile consists solely of the phrase, “I love shopping, traveling and my dog,” doesn’t have a clever retort to your email.
All the observable and obvious clues: They are nicely groomed—stylish, but not overdone. As would-be romances go, this plane is very slow to leave the gate and get onto the runway. or if it will lose engine power and sit on the tarmac indefinitely. It’s true that first dates can be one of the most nerve-wracking, anxiety-producing situations in our society.
They scan the room, menu, and table setting, only occasionally making eye contact. The key to having a positive experience is relaxed conversation, and that can be helped along with some well-chosen first-date questions.
You haven’t created a compelling reason why she should write back to you over all others.
And yet most of us get online and wonder why it always feels so stale.
Biggest clue of all: The salad course is punctuated by strained silence and forced small talk. Before we get to those, let’s review a few general guidelines for dating discourse: Listen as much or more than you talk.
The two pick at their dinner salads, staring down at the leafy mound before them. Finally, one of them tries to grease the wheels of conversation. Some people consider themselves skilled communicators because they can talk endlessly. A great email will never make someone who doesn’t want to date you consider you, but it WILL tip the balance when someone is choosing between a dozen otherwise similar candidates.Who would a woman rather go out with – the boring lunkhead who asks for her number before he’s had a chance to charm her, or the witty guy whose every email she anticipates with delight? So do yourself a favor, Dwayne: stop beating up on yourself because she doesn’t sound interested.I asked this client what made this email exchange different from the other exchanges. I mean, from the majority of your emails, you sound really boring, too.And yet this one guy with the trivia questions was able to bring out your playful side.” The moral of the story is that you are ALWAYS responsible for how you leave a conversation. By being optimistic, playful, interested and interesting, you can almost always transform any evening into a pleasant experience.It’s because YOU’RE making it stale, and you’re accepting stale conversation from others.