Essentially, many men report that they find modern dating a primarily punishing affair.Changing social norms has allowed few avenues by which they can be both acceptable as a relationship partner and attractive as a sex partner.
Balance the family photos with you doing something fun—like hanging out at a stadium—so I have a better idea of what our time together will be like.” –James, 42“If the woman’s photos are only with friends, I automatically think she is shy and insecure about her looks.
I would like to see a confident picture of her by herself doing something she loves.
If you sound like everyone else, I’m going to think you didn’t put any thought into your profile.
The best profiles are short and convey that a girl is open-minded.” –Will, 31“I would bypass a profile if a woman's profile said that a guy ‘needs to make me laugh.’ Don’t just tell me what you need a guy to do for you—emphasize the traits you find most attractive.
In a previous article, I put forward the notion that individuals were not "afraid" to date—rather they simply did not have sufficient incentive to do so (see here).
We are all motivated to seek out rewards and avoid punishments (Skinner, 1974).
Here, guys dish on photos, profiles, and all the things you’re doing right and wrong to get their attention.
You don’t have to overhaul your strategy based off of these guys' thoughts, but if you’re in a rut, take some tips right from the stallion’s mouth.“When you have too many pictures with family members, it makes us think you’re going to drag us to family functions early on.
The men that I speak with (and who commented on my last post) lament about being in a "no win situation" in modern dating.
If they follow what society tells them to do, they often end up "good guys" who are taken advantage of, mistreated, and disrespected.
In contrast, if they follow more "assertive" biological imperatives, they are labeled "jerks" and "players"—who may get sexual gratification, but not love or respect from what they would consider a "good woman".