(CNN) -- Online dating seems like the pinnacle of modernity, an online meat market where glassy-eyed humans browse possible suitors, sorted for ease of shopping by size, shape and moral fabric. " Along with this savanna comes permission to do stuff that'd get you a drink in the face I. Sure, online dating could benefit from a protocol overhaul in terms of courtesy, but begging everyone to change the rules this late in the game would be stupid.
So advanced does it appear, so streamlined and slick-interfaced and "Jetsons"-esque, that it's easy to overlook a very basic truth: Online dating is the freaking savanna. As in, early humans tearing around the open grasslands without much regard for courtship courtesy. Instead, we'd like to tell you, starry-eyed romantics with big dreams of finding love: Toughen up. Stop weeping onto your keyboard in the online quest for love.
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Persistence doesn't pay off in the game of online shopping for strangers.
It just makes you seem like a creeper, reinforcing said person's unexplained decision to cut you off. You never know; the next person you contact might be totally into your Cody and Pickle dress-up photo shoots.
The Offense: You're smilingly reading your way through someone's profile and then get to the very end and realize that he's "Looking For: Casual Sex." Or "Play." Or whatever your online dating site of choice calls it.
Or he makes frequent mention of his sex drive in his profile.
Editor's note: Brenna Ehrlich and Andrea Bartz are the sarcastic brains behind humor blog and book Stuff Hipsters Hate.
When they're not trolling Brooklyn for new material, Ehrlich works as an associate editor at and Bartz is news editor at Psychology Today. We're not about to tell you not to do those things.
When we type in our logins and go surfing for love, out come all our animalistic instincts: We refuse to give a second look to those who don't meet our physical requirements, rudely ignore those we don't find worthy and generally let our ids run wild. " we think gleefully, our brains reverting to caveman-like activity. In short: Online dating is not for the easily offended.
So if you're offering your heart up to the WWW gods, don't be too put off by the following social un-graces.
Or he messages you and explain that he and his long-term girlfriend are swingers, and they both turn to the Internet to find outside dalliances. Now, we're not saying you need to approve of such risqué behavior, but we repeat: Online dating is not for the faint of heart.